After my super negative post, I felt horrible. I think I said too much. I know I can't take it back but... it was truth. So... I survived Christmas. On a positive note, I am happy that this Christmas was just "meh." At the very least it did not involve tears. You have to count your victories, you know?
We arrived late to church and I may not be religious but I must say, I always feel relaxed when I sit there. My mind goes to certain places. When we got home, I was in a good mood so I decided to play games with my sister. We played games until the food was ready. There was even a nice, happy moment. We were playing Mario Kart Wii and we made my mom play. God, we should've filmed it. So much laughter.
Once we finished our meal, we played a bit more and then everyone retired to their rooms. We don't do family very well I suppose. I am afraid that I will do the same once I have my own. I strive and hope that it is not that way.
Regardless, the friends and people that I have met sent me wonderful wishes for a happy Christmas and it made me super happy. I feel that the connections we make with people on this Earth make everything worth it. My goal is to create my own family, out of the people that surround me.
I used to want nothing but happiness. Now, I have realized that yearning for feelings is harmful because they are fleeting. As the New Year approaches, I hope that I can become a decent human being. I have fucked up so much. Plus, I am becoming an asshole. I hope I get to welcome it with my sweet.
I hope you all had a happy Christmas. I love that this is the only time of year when everyone is in a good mood and for once, we become united.
Count your victories.
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